news

Birds Are Replacing Dog As Man’s Best Friend

July 25, 2017 Derek Allgood

 TIME- "Woman Is Convicted of Murder After Parrot Witness Repeats 'Don't Shoot'"

I never thought I would show one single bird an ounce of respect ever in my life. One exception would be The Bald Eagle but only because they fought for our country. Other than that it was fuck all birds! Birds think this is their planet. They think because they can fly that they must be running shit. They probably think to themselves, "Cah cah stupid cah fat cah humans cah can’t cah even cah fly cah cah shit cah shit cah shit can." Assholes. Fuck Birds. That was until I read about this adorable little caged Tucan Sam who came along and testified as the only witness in a murder trial of a wife killing her husband which ended with the wife behind bars. I then thought to myself, "Maybe birds aren’t that bad?"

Then I think, "How dumb are we as humans to let this bird testify in a trial with humans?  Has one human ever testified in a bird court ever?" So then why are we letting those assholes in a court system? How embarrassing. I’m sure this is just boosting their egos even more.

@BMS_Derek 




Leave a comment